“Our Marvelous Interstate Highways” by Dr. Sam Gipp

Right up front I’ll tell you that I am writing this to defend our magnificent interstate highway system. Why? Two reasons. The first is, behind the private ownership of guns the liberals hate the private ownership of cars. The automobile is “Public Enemy #2” to them. Therefore they try to enact laws that hinder and curtail auto ownership and usage. That also explains why they hate our interstate highway system. So they repeat over and over again that interstates are “boring” and that fast food is “worthless and unexciting.” The second reason for this defense is you. Most Americans quit thinking the day after they got their TV sets. Since you no longer think, you simply sit in front of your TV and let cheese-eating, pointy-nosed Dan Rather & Co. fill your head with negatives about our highway system and you can’t smell a rat! If you think our interstates are “boring” and “monotonous” it isn’t your thought! You have simply been “programed” by your television and can’t form an opinion independent of it. So sit back and read about the genius behind our highway system and try getting some input from someone who is on your side for a change.

Our modern interstate highway system is the brain-child of President Dwight D. Eisenhower. Being a military man he understood the necessity of being able to move troops rapidly throughout a nation in order to defend it from invasion. (And to move us to those “concentration camps” easier. Right? …You idiot.) Therefore every military base in the country has a four lane highway beginning at its front gate connecting it to the interstate highway system.

There are about 120 million miles of roads in the United States. 42.000 miles of that makes up the interstate highway system. Although the interstate system makes up slightly more than 1% of the paved roads in the country it carries over 20% of the country’s traffic.

Travel – Engineers have designed the interstate system to facilitate high speed travel. Valleys are filled or bridged and grades are reduced as much as possible. Turns are gradual and banked. Only one lane of an interstate is intended for driving. The right. The left lane is intended for passing. That’s why in most states you will see signs (that I wish you’d obey!) that say, “Drive right. Pass left.”

Numbering – Interstates are identified by their blue shield with the red crest on top. They are designated by odd numbers for north-to-south highways and even numbers for east-to-west. The north-to-south numbering (odd numbers) reads left-to-right. That is, the low numbers start on the west coast and proceed higher as you travel east. That’s why route I-5 is in California and I-95 travels up and down the Atlantic coast. North-to-south numbering begins in the South and increases as you travel north. That’s why I-10 skirts the southern border of our country and I-94 crosses from Montana to Michigan.

Spurs & bypasses – Major cities have spurs, which lead into the city and bypasses, which travel around the city. These roadways are designated by an odd or even number in front of the number for the interstate they service. If it is a spur into the city the first number is odd. If it is a bypass going around the city the first number is even. Thus bypass number I-495 takes you around Washington DC while spur I-395 takes you into that city.

Exit numbers – Exit numbers are designated by the number of miles they are from the state border. Generally (there are exceptions) the numbers read west-to-east or south-to-north. That means the lowest numbers would be in the western or the southern portions of a state and increase as you travel east or north. In this manner you can check the exit number you want on a map and deduce how far you still have to travel to reach it.

Exit directions – The exit signs themselves are mounted on gantries beside or above the interstate. The standard exit sign is actually a double sign. There is a large sign that tells the motorist the route, city or street accessed by that exit. Mounted along the top of this sign is a smaller sign which has the exit number on it. Pay close attention to this little sign. If it is oriented to the right top of the larger sign that means the exit is to the right. If it is oriented to the left top of the larger sign it means the exit is to the left. If it is dead center then that exit is reached by continuing straight ahead.

Other signs – Road signs are identified by differing colors. General interstate information is placed on green signs. Services, such as lodging, food, fuel or rest areas are on blue signs. Recreation and points of interest are placed on brown signs. Construction signs are orange.

Our interstate highway system is one of the most thought out and intelligent highway systems in the world and is second to none. (That includes the autobahn.) We personally could never service the churches we do using two lane secondary roads. Yet time and again we hear repeated over-and-over that interstates are “boring” and “monotonous” and fast food isn’t “exciting.” Even some of you think this. Car advertisements show some idiot in a sport sedan fleeing the “gridlock” of the interstate for an open, curvy stretch of two lane highway.

If you are one of those who bad-mouth interstates because your tv god told you to then do this. Next vacation you take travel only on two lane roads. I can personally tell you there is NOTHING more boring than a twisting, hilly two lane highway. But, no! It’s far superior to the personality-less interstate! So take only two lanes roads and never eat at a franchised restaurant. You will soon find that the open, curvy two lane road of the car advertisement is a thing of fiction. You will drive mile after boring mile behind some idiot who couldn’t care less how many cars he has backed up behind him. Then you will pull into some “Ptomaine Palace” of a restaurant that will have you spend the rest of the day trying to guess what you just ate and thanking God for fast food.

Bit by bit liberals have trained us to critisize our nations virtues as vices. We have been good, non-thinking, students and followed their every instruction. So to this day you hear people talk about “Route 66” as though it was a piece of highway that was superior in spirit, if not construction to our super highways. I’ve driven on portions of Route 66. (By compulsion, not by choice.) It is just one more dead, has-been of a road that doesn’t compare to any twenty-mile stretch of interstate. Yes, an hour’s drive along a two lane road to look at the leaves in Autumn is fine. But if you want to get somewhere, hit the first on-ramp you see, hammer down and stop for a Whopper along the way!

Liberals hate everything about this country. We should not go around parroting their arguments for them. Try thinking sometime!

God has even blessed us with our highway system. We should thank Him for it, not badmouth it.